Progress Report

Welp. I'm still unemployed and I still can't drive.

But! I have returned to public school. I'm taking three AP courses; Biology, English Literature and Composition, and European History. I'm also taking Honors Precalculus. So far I'm set to pass all of them, but not necessarily with flying colors. I've got a high C in History, Bs in math and science, and an A in English. I'm caught up in regards to the summer projects required for the AP courses. Life is good.

I'm also taking a course in financial literacy, which should help me out. I've learned a bit about money management, and while I still don't know how to file taxes, I have a basic idea of how paychecks work and what to do with them.

I took the SAT for the final time in October. I improved, but not significantly. My score rose from 1390 to 1410. That still gives me a pretty good shot at Rutgers, so I'm okay with it. Plus, my score is high enough that I don't need to take Camden's placer test.

Incidentally, it might not be such a bad thing that I can't drive yet. There's a PATCO train station in my town and I can use it easily to get to Camden and Rutgers. It also turns out that considering the fact that I won't have time for a job until I graduate high school, I probably won't be moving out of my parents' house until I'm in my early twenties. I won't have the money for it until then. I'm hoping to move into a certain apartment complex in town with my boyfriend at that point, but I can't make any concrete plans about that because I don't know what my income will be, what the rent is like in that building, or what my boyfriend's situation will be at that point.

Here's hoping for the best.

No more tests! (just kidding)

I'm done with the SAT this school year. I took the SAT with Essay on Saturday. The last day of school is the fifteenth, but I'm still going to study afterwards. Three hours a day, five days a week, until October first when I take the test again. It might even give me an edge with my education at the public school. I bet most of the other students won't study through the whole summer.

I'm also hoping to get a job and a license over the summer. Walgreens seems like a good starting point, since it's easy work and from what I've seen, I'd likely have friendly coworkers. There's also a pizza place which seems to want employees, but they're always really busy and I don't know if I can handle that. We'll see what happens.

Moving On Soon

I took the Bio test. It was easier than I expected, and I think I did well. I would guess I got something between 600-700, but I don't have my score yet. Being in the public high school, seeing all the students, all the other test takers, and some of the teachers, I felt something. I've made my decision. I'm going back to public school for my senior year.

I'm still a little worried they won't let me in as a senior, but it seems I'm the only one who thinks that's going to happen. It's more likely I'll get in, go through twelfth grade, and graduate like a normal person. I'll finally feel like a normal person again.

That might have been a tad unprofessional, but I'm leaving it anyway. It's how I feel, and I'm no longer writing this for the essay, right? I'm writing for myself now.

I took a practice test too, earlier this morning. Since it was a retake of the first one, I boosted my 1310 to a 1420. I owe most of the added success to memory, though, since they told me exactly what I was doing wrong the first time around. Hopefully I'll continue to improve.

I Made a Mistake

I screwed up.

I misunderstood the rules about the SAT, and missed the fact that I can only take one test per day. Since I asked to take both, they put me down for the Biology E test, but not the regular test. I tried to get it changed, but I missed the deadline. Consequently, I'm only taking the Biology E test on Saturday. In June, I'll take the regular test. In a way, this is good because I get more study time, but I feel guilty for messing up the form. I'll have to remember this incident when I register for the October test.

Disappointed

I did terribly on my practice test today. My score was 1290, my lowest score yet. I did the math and my average is about 1310, so I'm hoping to do at least that well on the actual test this Saturday. Even if I bomb the thing, I get another chance in October next year.

Speaking of next year, I may still be here then. I haven't completely decided. Because of that, I already have something like a plan in place. Next year will mostly be about my thesis, and I know what this year's been about - preparing for the SAT and college. Next year I'll send out my application to Camden County Community College. Depending on how my Bio test goes, I might look for something else to study. Once I'm finished there I'll apply to Rutgers, and maybe Drexel in case I get rejected. I only began thinking of that today, so I can't be certain.

It's Almost Time

Rutgers Day was a huge letdown. It felt more like a state fair or community outreach event than a chance to really check out the campus. The event was poorly organized and we weren't even supposed to go inside the buildings.

My mom doesn't play by the rules. We went inside.

We got a good look at one of the lecture halls. It resembled a small theater.

I took a third SAT practice test. While my overall score has improved - I went from 1300 to 1350 - I did terribly in math and only saw improvement because my english score skyrocketed to a 770 from a previous 690.

The test itself is this Saturday. Here's hoping I don't mess this up.

Routine Uncertainties

I spoke with Reb yesterday about my desire to return to public school. He said that it's understandable that I'd struggle now, and that it takes time to adjust to the free school environment. He also said that I don't have to sign the forms anytime soon, and I could go ahead and attend public school if I wanted. If I get tired of that, PFS's doors are always open. That's a comfort.

For the past couple weeks I've been following a study routine. Three days a week I practice for the main SAT - that's the reading & math portion - and during my free time those days and the whole day the other days, I study for the Biology Subject Test. I'm still worried about my performance there, but I took a practice test for the main one and got 1310 out of 1600, so that's good.

I intend to keep this routine up until the test, for which I'm now officially registered. I'm to take it at the public school in town, which will give me an opportunity to familiarize myself with the location.

Do I stay, do I dare?

Next year's enrollment forms came in the mail this morning. I don't know if I want to sign them.

I've long believed that I can't go back to the public school in my district because it's not a welcoming environment and because I couldn't handle the workload. However, a friend of mine who was unpopular like me when we went to sixth grade together has since moved up the social ladder at least enough not to be the target of bullying. Maybe I could do that too. As for the workload, college will have an even larger workload than public high school. If I think I can prepare for that, then I should be able to handle it next year.

I may need to repeat 11th grade, but that may happen here too, so it's not a gamble. I still want to go to community college after graduation, just to make sure I have all my bases covered.

There is, of course, the matter of this blog. If I go back to district, this blog's original purpose will become obsolete. I will not write an essay about my life plans on graduation day. I will not need my blog as a reference tool. It will no longer matter. Even so, I think I'll keep writing here when I can, for my own sake. It's comforting to have a written record and a plan.

RD Update

Rutgers finally delivered on that update.  The events listed are a mix of educational tours and talks, games, and projects. There's food too, but it's not free. I'm interested in a stress management program which is aptly named, "Got Stress?" I want to visit the Department of Biology, though the program only lists one event there - The Rutgers Files. It looks like it's aimed at young children. The activity involves investigating a mock crime scene to deduce what happened to some stolen snacks.

Honestly, I'm much more excited at the prospect of visiting Rutgers than the activities themselves.

Rutgers Day and Registration

I finally buckled down and registered for the SATs. I decided to take the SAT with the essay, along with the Biology subject test. Even if I don't end up using that, it's good to have. Since I can take another test next year, I can always take a different subject test that time around. I'm starting to get the hang of some of the math, finally, so I'm going to spend the rest of the month concentrating on Biology.

Today I learned Rutgers is having a public all-ages event on the thirtieth, known as Rutgers Day.  As the page states, this is an event intended for those seeking to explore the college, whether it be alumni, a current student, or a prospective student such as myself. I intend to take advantage of this. Who knows? Maybe I'll get something for my application out of it.

There's supposed to be a program booklet here, but it's not there as of this moment. It's supposed to turn up sometime today, though, so I'll keep checking and update soon.

Quickie

I don't have a lot of time, so this one's going to be short.

I feel like I'm making progress with math again. I had to take a step back, but I understand the material now so I think I'm in the right spot. I'm considering forgoing the subject test. CONSIDERING.

An Important Question

I am not feeling optimistic at the moment.

I bombed an English section review for the first time. I haven't made any progress with my math and the Crash Course videos I've been watching make no sense to me. Really the only good thing that's happened since my last update is that I have an ID card now.

I know that if I get a bad score on the SATs I shouldn't send it in, but then I'll have nothing to show for myself when I apply to Rutgers. I'm hoping I can somehow use my community college studies as leverage instead, as I've heard real college is more interested in that than the SATs, but that begs the question of what I'm doing at PFS. When I graduate - at this point, if I graduate, - I will have to write an essay about how PFS helped me shape my future. How am I supposed to do that if the years I spend here consist entirely of biding my time until community college?

There's one accomplishment for the day: I've identified the important question here.

Baby Steps

Today, I properly notified the staff at school about my desire to take the SAT and Bio tests. The office clerk gave me two packets - one to practice for the SAT and one for the subject test - and an envelope filled with registration papers. When I get home I'm going to register to take the tests on May 7th.

I read the information in the first five pages of the SAT packet. It covered many topics, but here I'll focus on the important stuff. The english portion of the SAT focuses on what you'd expect - evaluating passages and discerning pertinent information. I answered the sample questions provided and got about 80% correct, which isn't bad. I haven't yet taken a good look at the math section but according to the packet I can expect a review of algebra and quadratics, as well as statistics and data reading. I'm not sure how well I'll perform in that area but I'm confident the sample questions will show me what to focus on.

Progress Has Been Made

The director of undergraduate bio got back to me a few days ago. Apparently he forwarded my message to Rutgers' Advising and Admission Offices when he first got it back in November, but neither of them replied. Dr. Lee wanted me to let him know if that was the case, so I sent a quick reply to tell him I hadn't heard from them. Dr. Lee mentioned that "some of the homeschool students successfully finished [their] program," but that he didn't know the requirements. This prompted another visit to the website - seriously, thank god for the internet - and a look at the Self-Reported Academic Record (SRAR) which homeschooled applicants must fill out.

Immediately, I spotted a problem. For some reason, the SRAR asks for grades. I was tempted to ask Dr. Lee about this, but it's clear he doesn't know the answer. For  now I'm keeping an eye on my inbox.